A Good Laugh!: “Calorie Leakage And Other Diet Tips”

Wednesday is “hump day” and a great opportunity for a good laugh to get us through the rest of the week!

Calorie Leakage And Other Diet Tips

RULES FOR THIS DIET:

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet pop with a chocolate bar, the diet pop cancels out the calories in the chocolate bar.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you do not eat more than they do.

4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Tim Bits.

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel. (Examples: Smarties, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Twizzlers and Tootsie Rolls.)

7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.

9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. (Examples: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and mashed potatoes.)

10. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.

11. Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.

12. Anything consumed from someone else’s plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (We ALL know how calories like to cling!)

Remember, “stressed” spelled backwards is “desserts.”

Revelation:

If you can’t laugh during your weight loss journey – a constant challenge and just plain HARD – it becomes a chore. Laugh and enjoy the ride!

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