Reading your wonderful comments, other bloggers, and nifty inspirational stuff has led me to one very basic conclusion, and sure you all know it:

Change is scary, even positive change…

But the scarier it is, the higher probability that it’s something you,

deep inside,

really want to do!

Personally, one of my biggest dreams was not to be scared all the time.

Those of us dealing (or have dealt in the past) with anxiety, especially clinical anxiety/panic disorder, know all about fear. It controlled me most of my life. Early home life was chaotic and toxic, never knew what was coming next, only that it would be bad and I would have to handle it. Anxiety/fear then followed me in adulthood until diagnosed with a mood disorder and then it completely took over. Got so overwhelming I could barely stand to drive or even be around friends, much less other people/crowds. I finally sought out serious help, learned excellent coping skills, started meditation, yoga, exercise, and eliminating anxiety provoking foods from diet. Now it’s going from hourly/daily anxiety/panic attacks to maybe once a month.

One of my most anxiety provoking triggers is going to the gyn, which is no picnic for any woman. It kept me from going for over 15 years and only the last few have been manageable. After the mirena experience (not fun, truly not fun), I found myself in a panic in the office Wednesday afternoon the minute I walked into the office. Serious, full blown panic attack. But using breathing techniques and every coping skill I could think of, I was able to get things under control. That and waiting almost 2 hours for the doctor – fear finally gave up in the face of complete boredom!

I’m still dealing with a bit of anxiety about taking a college class after years away from the books, the C25K program, and two other upcoming decisions/activities. A bit freaked – but like the pretty graphic says- if you’re not scared, your dream isn’t big enough! (No problem there!)

Today’s point is: whatever your dream, whether it’s to lose 20 pounds (or 200), to get in shape, maybe try a 5k even, improve your relationships, get a better job, go back to school, or take down that horrible wallpaper in the kitchen you’ve hated since you moved in, some fear (called “preparatory anxiety”) is normal. After you’ve pushed past it, and pushing becomes a habit, you steal fear’s thunder and it’s replaced with excitement about your new goal / next step.

Congrats to all of you who keep pushing past, trying new things, re-trying old ones, and staying strong and positive “along the weigh”!


One thought on “Dream BIG, No BIGGER!

  1. Oh, Lara, this is *so* true. When fear and anxiety cause us to avoid something, it only gets bigger in our minds and more terrifying. Avoidance reinforces avoidance. Learning to make pushing past the fear a habit *is* the golden key!

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