Help, I’m Out of Control!

I’m Out of Control And Really Need Help

After 6 weeks I finally got the scale back and guess what, I’m almost 4 pounds heavier. Pretty upset about this.

It’s time to admit that I have a problem and figure out what to do about it. Yes, I’ve lost almost 80 pounds and for the most part have kept it off. BUT since losing that bulk of weight and still having 40 that I want to lose, I’ve been fighting a losing battle with emotional and impulse eating for the last 4 months. I’ve plateaued and been ping-ponging on the scale.

One of the reasons I’ve gained back 4 pounds is 2 weeks of limited exercise (no trainer sessions, no body pump classes, only a solid weekend of hard work outside). Even after the major lawn overhaul and then the following week getting ready for and getting some major dental work, the 2nd reason is that my eating is out of control. I try to stay with the plan my trainer gave me but during the weekend and the time around and after the dental work (about a week), it’s been carbs, carbs, carbs and SUGAR. Getting takeout, going out for lunch complete with pancakes two days in a row. Ice cream one night, a half container of caramel almond butter with chocolate chips another. Making mega brownies. Eating half a challah loaf two days in a row. No wonder the pounds are flying back on.

Add sitting on my butt on the couch for hours a day and not using the fitness equipment sitting in the other room and it all makes sense.

Although my trainer says over and over, it’s your fat percentage that counts and how your clothes fit, especially as you gain muscle and lose fat (muscle weighs more), because I am still so overweight that’s not the issue now. Get me down to 10 pounds to goal and we’ll talk.

I feel like I’m at the end of my rope – I’m sneaking sweet stuff again, staying on plan during the day and then blowing it at night, not getting in enough movement, and letting temptation rule my food choices. I’ll go for weeks on plan and then blow it over a weekend. And to make matters worse this Friday and Sat we’re eating out to celebrate with friends. So I’ll do great until Friday night then blow it with the bread at the restaurant. Saturday is a birthday party complete with cake that I’ll be making and dinner out at a japanese steakhouse. That’s what’s been happening the last few months and why I’m not making any progress. I’ll stay on plan and then at the slightest opportunity, fall right off. Sure I get back on but the damage has already been done.

Crappy factoid here: within a few hours of a high fat meal we put on 3 teaspoons of fat around our middle, waiting to move somewhere else on our body. 1 meal!!!

I’m feeling so discouraged when I should be grateful that for the most part I’ve kept off what I lost over the last year. The problem is I’m not at the maintaining stage yet and still have a ton to lose. And my willpower seems to have taken a vacation.

I don’t know whether I need to go see my therapist again for a booster or figure out what’s really going on mentally that’s blowing my progress. Going to a training session today and hopefully trainer will help put this in perspective. That and planning ahead for this weekend’s meals, making a single layer cake (just use 1 pan), and starting to journal food again. The picture journal is a lot of work and a real pain which is why it was a short lived venture. Trainer has nixed the calorie counting but a simple daily listing of intake seems like the best way to go.

Even bought a book about stopping emotional eating, which I put down after a few chapters and haven’t picked back up. Can’t tell if I’m not ready to face this yet but if I want to achieve my goals I really need to suck it up and figure out how to be the winner when faced with chocolate (and ice cream)! Something has to change and stay changed for this journey to continue and figure out how not to fall back into sabotaging habits. Many of you have inspired me so much and would love your feedback on this. Right now I’m my own worse enemy!


7 thoughts on “Help, I’m Out of Control!

  1. Ugh. I sooo feel this. I’ve been on a plateau for two months–I’ve stayed within two pounds (except when gaining water and bloating during that special time of the month, then it jumps to 5 or 6 pounds) up and down and it’s driving me nuts. I’m still walking like crazy and have even kicked the walking up a notch.

    My downfall is always the food. Yes, the food. Too, too much. And it’s not that I eat all crappy stuff, either. I just eat too much of food in general. For me to lose weight, I have to stay at the 1500 calorie range AND spend tons of calories in exercise. Sometimes I end up in a pity party–it’s not fair that I gain weight eating 2000 calories a day. It’s not fair that unless I log every damn mouthful, it is soooo easy to eat too much. It’s not fair.

    Ugh. Then I have to tell myself get over it and stop whining. But sometimes it feels good to whine anyway. I get sooo sick of having to work so damn hard to maintain what other people do without even trying because their metabolisms are normal.

    Pity parties certainly don’t help any, but I understand the beating yourself up part, since I’m doing it to myself. I guess it’s good to whine a bit, get it out of your system and keep on trying. I have goals, dammit, and I want to make them. My good health is too important to fail. So is yours. So you won’t. You will keep trying until you conquer the monster. Least, that’s what I tell myself.

    • Keep on telling it to yourself and I’ll do the same. We are so much more than a number on a scale or a dress size. And every healthy step we make is a step forward. One step at a time, we can both do this!

      • I know we can. But I often wonder why it has to be sooo gosh darn hard. But then I also remember the things we value the most are the things we work the hardest for, right?

  2. I can gain 4 pounds of water weight in a week just from the salt in treats and take out. So you may be a good workout and sauna away from being back on track 8)

  3. Sometimes you gain a little because you are building muscle and other times your body is just adjusting to change. I have gained 2 pounds while I had been maintaining while recovering from a back injury. Oh Well! Just have to re-group and get it together and so will you. Do not be discouraged just keep moving forward:)

    • Thanks – trainer also gave a big pep talk. So now it’s the gym or at least 30 min of activity 5 days a week. That and staying full from lots of protein shakes will help. The rest is mental, and that’s my hard part.

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