Purpose Or “Why Bother?”

Losing Weight, the healthy way, and a journey to lose it and keep it off!

“This is more than a journey; I am changing my life and my relationships with food and loving movement for life!”

I decided to do this blog to chronicle my personal weight loss journey after gaining over 120 pounds from mood disorder meds, overeating, lack of exercise, and just plain giving up. Hopefully, by reading this, you’ll realize that you’re NOT alone, and if I can do it, so can you!

Here you’ll get everything from the latest weight loss and exercise tips and tricks, to dealing with bipolar disorder/depression while trying to lose weight, to just dealing with a mood disorder. Plus inspiring quotes, pictures, recipes, links, podcasts, phone apps, and any other dang thing I can find to help us all on the “weigh”!

But first: “Why Bother”:

So why bother? I’ve been struggling with mood disorder med-related and depression- related and just plain tired and lazy-related weight gain since around the year 2000. That’s almost 12 years now. Things got so bad I had to go on SSDI in 2009 and I just gave up. No, I didn’t get it.

Then, my wife and I joined Weight Watchers in early 2009 to lose weight so we wouldn’t look like “white whales” in our wedding pictures that September – thank you Vermont for allowing us to finally make it legal after 17 years! I lost 50 pounds but still I wore a size 22 wedding dress with a short jacket on top because I was embarrassed by how huge my arms were. No, I still didn’t get it.

And I gained it all back, plus a whole lot more…of course.

Fast forward to Christmas 2010 and my wife and I spent our holiday in Savannah, Georgia – our favorite vacation spot. Only 1 dress fit by this point and I do look like a whale. We were fine in the carriage ride to Vic’s On the Waterfront for our Christmas Eve dinner, but the 2 of us barely fit in the foot taxi on the way back and I felt SO sorry for the poor guy! But I didn’t get it yet. Yes there is more “me” than dress. But at least the room is amazing – it’s The Gastonian by the way (highly recommend just because it ROCKS!).

Fast forward to April 2011 and my wife and my trip to visit our Aunt and friends in Vermont. I almost needed 2 seats on the plane. I no longer fit in regular chairs in restaurants and couldn’t walk up the steps of the Capitol Building in Montpelier without having to stop halfway. I ate whatever I wanted. I no longer cared. Every joint ached and I could barely move without pain. Yes, I still didn’t get it. But I was about to.

While in Stowe (at a restaurant of course) my wife’s friend Stephanie told us about a diet she tried that really worked for her. Rigghhtt. But when we got home, we ordered the book from Amazon, threw out every vaguely food related item in our kitchen (except spices), and started fresh. I got it.

And I lost it – 16.2 pounds the first month! Then 10, then 10, etc., etc. Between diet, starting twice weekly water exercise therapy in June, a transition to a personal trainer and the gym (the one major perk of being on disability – free gym membership – yay!). No, the trainer was not free, not by a long shot.

It’s been a journey, with ups and downs, disappointments and celebrations, and now, over 60 pounds lost later, I have almost no clothes left in my closet that fit. Cue the applause – everything was too big and is destined for the next garage sale!

Fast forward to the present: I walk the dog 3-5 days a week before breakfast. Took on Yoga Journal’s “21 Day Yoga Challenge” and finished the majority of it. And at the “Intermediate” level. Do 3 days of strength training and 4 of cardio every week plus 2 yoga classes. And I cheat, go up on the scale, go down, but just keep going.

My goal is 160 and there to stay and I’ll help motivate myself – and you – the rest of the trip and beyond. I never want to have to wear a size 28 womens again, or for that matter, a size 16. Intrigued? Stay with me, we can do this together!

And just in case you’re wondering – who the heck am I anyway?

I’m a woman, obviously,

and a lesbian, again, obviously,

and a Pisces – surpised yah!

I’m 41 with 42 just around the corner.

My wife and I have been together for almost 19 years and we’re still “in love” – yes, it makes our friends sick!

We have a dog, Deja Vu, a jumping jack of a lab mix.

We just lost our other dog, Nallah, at 14 to a whole lot of bad medical stuff. Yes, it’s been rough.

I’m a science geek with a degree in psychology and part of a master’s in business admin – the part before I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

My favorite color is blue and I truly hate Florida at this point – even though I love the ocean.

I love Vermont more…than the ocean.

I was a major activist for a long time then got burnt out and went into the corporate jungle. Did very well, again, until I was diagnosed. Managed to keep going for quite awhile, until I couldn’t keep going.

I love reading, writing, friends and family time, music, art, film, the theater, the opera, live comedy…but really hate Jeff Dunham. (Not the stupid dolls again!) Plus working out, which was a huge surprise.

And most of all, I’m a stubborn, loyal, pain in the butt who just won’t give up and pissed my psychiatrist off because I keep trying to handle the reins of my own treatment. Luckily he has the patience of Job and a great sense of humor.

Currently I take care of the house, dog, errands, shopping, my own stability, and everything else, while realizing my dream of writing, every day. This blog and finally getting my med levels right, has literally saved my life. That and the greatest wife, family, and friends ever, who never gave up on me.

I’m so grateful for all of you who read my ramblings and especially for the wonderful comments and fellow bloggers.

Stick around. I promise, it’ll keep being an interesting and exciting read, an inspiring few minutes of your day. And tell a friend, there’s always room for one more – in the 2 feet of space I’ve lost!